Pregnancy

I think I may have already blogged about my pregnancy problem, but FUCK IT, I'm going to do it again.

I have a phobia of pregnancy.
Pregnant women, don't bother me.
Smallish babies, annoying, but don't bother me much.
Birth footage and bloody newborns make me retch.
The idea of becoming pregnant makes me extremely anxious and sick to my stomach.

I never wanted to be pregnant, even when I was little. Convorsations with my mother would go
Me: When I have kids they can eat all the candy they want/ never take baths / stay up late /not clean their rooms
Mom: You're going to have kids?
Me: Yeah but I'm going to adopt.

I was like six. My mother can attest to this.

In the ninth grade we had an entire science unit dedicated to cell divison, mitois, meiosis and finally reproduction.
We talked a lot about how it worked, as well as the ethics involved with abortions, stem cells and in vitro.
This is when I remember really not wanting to have kids, as well as seriously disliking the idea of being pregnant at all. How it worked was facinating, but disgusting, and I did not want that happning to me.
It just, got worse, until I realized it was a phobia.
Like, "I'm thinking about this now I want to puke, wow, this really affects my physical well being"

So yeah, I have a phobia.
I never want to be pregnant. Ever.