It doesn't count

Me: Didn't you take it in the ass one time?

Travis: That doesn't count, I was nine and extremely drunk.

Mozilla virus scans it's own products.

Redundant.

It's still chilly in my room, even though they fixed the vent.

To take an Idea from Shyanna.

243 Today.
244 Tomorrow.


(I needed to make a blog post and I only have 3 more minutes left of my break)

Female Shepard > Male Shepard

What obsession?

I really don't have anything to blog about today, But I feel like blogging.

It had been a long time since I'd spent a whole day beating a video game. 

It felt good.

This is my life. Why are you even reading my blog?

Pregnancy

I think I may have already blogged about my pregnancy problem, but FUCK IT, I'm going to do it again.

I have a phobia of pregnancy.
Pregnant women, don't bother me.
Smallish babies, annoying, but don't bother me much.
Birth footage and bloody newborns make me retch.
The idea of becoming pregnant makes me extremely anxious and sick to my stomach.

I never wanted to be pregnant, even when I was little. Convorsations with my mother would go
Me: When I have kids they can eat all the candy they want/ never take baths / stay up late /not clean their rooms
Mom: You're going to have kids?
Me: Yeah but I'm going to adopt.

I was like six. My mother can attest to this.

In the ninth grade we had an entire science unit dedicated to cell divison, mitois, meiosis and finally reproduction.
We talked a lot about how it worked, as well as the ethics involved with abortions, stem cells and in vitro.
This is when I remember really not wanting to have kids, as well as seriously disliking the idea of being pregnant at all. How it worked was facinating, but disgusting, and I did not want that happning to me.
It just, got worse, until I realized it was a phobia.
Like, "I'm thinking about this now I want to puke, wow, this really affects my physical well being"

So yeah, I have a phobia.
I never want to be pregnant. Ever.

Mortality and Information Technology.

My grandfather is a great man. I'm sure most everyone can say that about someone they're close to, but I beileive it, partially because I owe a great deal of who I am to him.

      It was him who brought us the first computer and taught me how to use it. He had the internet before the rest of you knew what it was. I think when he moves on he will still know more about our computer then my father and mother. He was pirating games and burning them to disks for us long before the pirate bay had their fleet of buccaneers. He backed napster, and when it fell he moved on to Kaazaa. My cousin used his paypal to buy starcraft broodwar on ebay. I used his paypal/ebay to buy neopets stuff. (But that's besides the point). Speaking of neopets, I sent off my "I can use the forums even though I'm under 13" form using my grandparents fax machine.

I guarentee you, this blog would not exsist without my grandfather. I am who am because of a lot of different things, but this is one I can almost pinpoint. I am a second generation gamer and a third generation tech enthousist.

Your time is running out.

And I remain.

Blogging about nothing.
Blogging about everything.
Blogging one lines.
Blogging Stories, letters and hopes and dreams.
Blogging my past, present and future.
Blogging my expectations.
Blogging my fears.
Blogging for myself..
My 25-30 year old self.
For them.
For him.
Blogging who
what
when
how
Speculations on why.
Blogging to get it out.
Blogging to keep it.
Blogging to pass the time while I fly to Orgrimmar,
or while my toast cooks.
Blogging because eventually if enough people read this blog and click the ad at the bottom I might make a whole dollar.

Blogging to be faux self-reflective and deep.
Heh, I'm having fun.

Heywaitwut this is a phone.

Had a good day today.
Went out for lunch, bought delicious Japaneese food and chocolate fudge, also, a candy apple.
Also, a vidya game. And old one : P

Now I'm at work.
Working, waiting worrying, none can be helped.
I know it's all cool though, because the winds were blowing today, and excuse me if they were the colour of acceptance.
I'm going to pass pre-cal and chemistry and film and vid (but that one's a given)
And whatever happens is going  to happen, and I'm going to be okay with anything.
Well, maybe not anything, but I'm prepared to deal with life as it's thrown at me.
The bright side is looking brighter everyday.

Shitson, maybe I should erase all that, because the last time I wrote an optimistic blog, everything fucked up not a week thereafter.
IN B4 SUDDENSTRESS. SHIT.
Okay, I'll head this off with a "EVERYTHING SUCKS AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE MESSAGE"
LIKE
A giant meteor is going to hit us in 2032,  or so says Sir Kxanganggang of the Na'vi.
Don't worry, the aformentioned friend is a real person. I'm not crazy.
Or am I.
Actually, I think I'm going a little bit crazy.
Just a tad.
A weensy little bit.
For one thing, as I write this, there is another voice in my head reading it, a voice other then my own.
But, It's a voice I know well.
I should get back to work. Toodles.

Spoken word.

I write it.

Cramps are balls.

They suck so bad.
They're even worse when you wake up with on a saturday morning at 9:30 after an awesome friday night in which you did not sleep until four thirty am.
They're even worse when they take two super-liqui-gels to go away.
They've even worse when.... They happen every month.
So they're always worse.
They always suck.
They suck the most today though.

In any case, I had a fabulous night last night.
I'm pretty sure the last thing I said was
"Oh, man. I just realized something awesome"
Barnabas: "What?"
"Christopher Eccleston totally exploded into David Tennant."

No never mind, That was not the last thing I said, It launched a discussion in which Empty Children were creepy and Daleks were Carboard and David Tennant was Yum and Harold was confused.
Then I went to sleep.

I just spent 10 minutes on the wikipedia article for Daleks.
Shiiiiit.

At anyrate, Friday. The first of October.
Funfact: the first of october is six months after April Fool's day (Or six months before it, if you will) Does that make it October Srs day? Where I'm totally serious and say a whole bunch of things that I really mean from the cockles of my heart? Because I kind of did that anyway. :  D

And in the course of a week

Everything changed.

Up and down

And up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down.

I realized some things.

About you.
And us.
And this.
And I wrote them down
In a blog.
But for your sake I'm not going to post it.
Just save it as a draft.
For when I start running out of things to say.
Points to make.
And if you want to see it.
I'll post it.
Until then, hurry up and get here.

You're a super star

I spent 160 mircrosoft points on "Gay Bar -Electric Six" For Rock Band one and two.
Makes me awesome.
Also, I'm going to beat Dragon age this week FUCKING FINALLY
I bought dragon age in January or February,  Played it for hours then stopped playing it. I kept trying to go back to it over the last > six months but I just didn't have the time. (distractions?) This time, I'm dedicating the time.
I'm so close, one more General then I can kill the arch demon. Fucking yes.
Kate Mulgrew is Flemmeth, makes me happy. :D
Also, I finally worked out the kinks in my PC to Xbox interwebs connection. Now I can go on xboxlive wirelessly without shelling out 60 bucks for an adapter.
Everything's just. WORKING. Working when it wasn't working before.

I'm going to be honest, my internet suddenly co-operating with me is rare, and I've kind of taken it as a type of sign. When suddenly the xbox just connects to the internet after you plugged it in on a whim, it's just so unexpected and lovely. (If you're me, both your internet connection and your laptop are a piece of shit, so a few months back you tried and TRIED to get them to cooperate with Mr.Box to no avail, before giving up) It's gotta be some kind of symbolism, everything's going to be okay.

This week ended with some awesome stuff, opportunities, completions, good stuff all around. Everything's going to be okay.

Also: HOUSE MD STAR4TS TOMORROW OMG SO PUMPED. YOU HAVE NO IDEA 34 HOURS.

Also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI

Elevator accident.

I've been immagining my own death a lot latley, in random situations, and immagining how everyone around me would react. Cancer, car crash, most recently I was coming up the elevator at work and I thought, Hm, elevator crash, what a way to go. I don't actually immagine my death, just the aftermath.
I don't want to die.
I figured I should tell someone though. You know, since it's gotten to the point where I'm saying "Hmm, I immagine my own death a lot"

Has Been Said, Could Have been.

I was just thinking about the effect one decision can have on the rest of everything. I remembered/thought this up.

"Soooo.." she said, with only a slight twinge in her gut, a slight thump of her heart, a subtle shake of her nervous legs. She was much more calm then she had originally anticipated being, felt that the words that should come next would come, even though there was something inside her telling her not to speak, the urge to vocalize what needed to be said was greater.
   She had deliberately waited until this moment, it was inevitable, after a long evening out eating and laughing and joshing, they would always return and collapse on her bed, it had been that way for the last few months, constantly building to this moment, despite her silent struggles. Now, laying here again, she waited for her dearest friend and companion to leave the room before she spoke out loud. Now that she had begun speaking, there was no turning back, she couldn't leave the word 'so' hanging in the air for much longer. The words to follow escaped her lips, sounding exactly as they had when she repeated them in her mind.

"Was this a date?"

The male figure laying there next to her turned, his arm still stretched around beneath her. She figured that he probably hadn't expected her to say anything at all. She would have rather said nothing at all but the rational side of her had logic'd out the fact that the game she was playing could not be played forever. She couldn't keep closing her eyes to the feelings being sketched out on the page in plain blue pen. She couldn't ignore the lub-dub in her chest where she joked that her central processing unit should lie. The subtle looks and the elongated hugs and the hand on her shoulder couldn't be ignored. Not to mention the urging of her peers and close friends who had just today urged her to take his hand in hers, the simplest of gestures. 

     The question hung in the air for a moment, passing silently, the answer clear, the future uncertain. He responded softly;

The nonfiction conclusion to this, along with the fiction part of it (alternate ending lol) will be posted on my other blog, Alternate Parallels, where I'm supposed to post this creative writing shiz. This might also be a shameless plug to go to my other blog, because if I had posted this there, no one would have read it. (Aka: YOU: "eeeeeeeh, not interested *shameless chuckle*") Also, the end will be posted when I get around to it, eventually. Which should be soon because that's where shit diverges and there are those alternate parallels (like the title of the blog, y'getit?) so if I don't finish it, it's just me being self centered and talking about myself even more so then it already is. 

I guess this is a blog, created with the intention to talk about myself.

I'm talking about myself to preserve it for posterity. That's why I started this in the first place. god.

FUTURE ME, DON'T KEEP WRITING OBNOXIOUSLY LONG AUTHORS NOTES TYPE DOODADS AFTER WRITING A CREATIVE/AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL PIECE, YOU JUST LOOK LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. (As opposed to a ninja, which is subtlety different then a crazy person)

I'm making obscure references now. Bed time.

Just Reach

I pre-ordered Halo Reach yesterday, I'm really excited, just like everyone else.

You know what really bothers me, books about God that pretend not to be about God. I shelve a lot of books at work and I come across thees books once and a while. It'll look like a self help or parenting book on the outside, and the back cover with give no indication about religious preference, in fact, the back summary of the book looks completely  religiously indifferent. However, if you open it up, it turns into "How to parent your children with the love of Jesus Christ" Or "Being a more powerful balanced woman by letting God into your soul". It makes me angry, not because I have a problem with parents teaching their children values with the help of the father son and the holy spirit, but because of the sneaky nature the books emit. What if a poor self-respecting atheist just came along and picked up the book, only to open it up to see the word "God" every few words. Rage would ensue, and because I'm in close proximity, I have to listen to it, and to be totally honest, I hate atheist rage. I hate it almost more then Christian rage, but that's another story for another time.

Funfact: Fuck yes motherfuckers. Halo Reaaaccch

A short story I wrote on the first day of school...

...based on characters I thought up last year on the first day of school. GO!


Audience Preferences,


I... POSTED THIS ON THE WRONG BLOG.
BY AN ACTUAL ACCIDENT. SRSLY.
READ IT HERE
http://alternateparallels.blogspot.com/2010/09/short-story-i-wrote-on-first-day-of.html
IF YOU CARE.

The looming monster

School is almost here which makes me very sad. I really don't want summer to end. Ever.


I played a fucking lot of world of warcraft today. That was pretty cool.


Things I did this summer:

1. Broke/fixed a computer
2. Went to the beach
3. Got fucking sick
4. Worked
5. Stayed up late
6. Hung out
7. Fell in love s'more.
8. Played xBox in a tent
9. Cried
10. Ran for a bus and missed it.
11. Ate some Subway
12. Stole some pokemon cards (shhh)
13. I'll add more shit to this list later

Preserved for posterity.

I bought world of warcraft.
If you're wondering why I'm not around,
Or why you haven't seen me out of my house,
This is why.


...


Back to the grind.

How to find a good man who will love you and treat you right.

Step one: Learn to love video games.

Anonymous comments are enabled

If anyone is reading this blog, who is not one of the 1-5 people who I know has/is reading this blog, please leave a comment so I know you're out there.

At any rate, I reconnected with an old friend today, It was awesome, she looks good, seems good, has a future mapped out and everything. We had a really good time reminiscing and nostalgia'ing the shit out of ourselves. She can drive... I need to get my licence.. Really bad. 

The internet is getting boring. I've seen it all at this point, the only thing left to do is resort to blogging and flash games. OH, I know what I'll do, I'll download starcraft 2. Aww yeah.

How? Just like that.

I walked out of the Zellers with the pokemon cards in my hand, and I didn't feel bad in the least.

I freaking love pokemon. It's true, In fact just mentioning the word pokemon in this blog makes me want to go finish Soul Silver. Gah.

Anyone who thinks Pokemon is lame or just for kids is a jerk. Pokemon is srs biz. The older you get, the more serious it gets.

Of course, in many ways, I am very childlike, for instance; I still sleep with a blankey I've had when I was born. I was talking to a few friends about this yesterday, including Betty/Shyanna from the blog over yonder. She said that it seems that our generation is more accepting of sleeping with Blankies and stuffed toys, while previous generations had a pressure to give those things up at a certain age. I realized she was right.

Of course, I'm also childlike in other ways too, like my positive outlook, my tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt, and generally see good in the whole world and everyone in it. Kids are usually like that.
Also, I'm pretty sure I'm going to live forever. That sounds a little naive when I say it, but really, I have some points behind it. (Though the points could probably be dis proven by some really smart scientist or someone....or could they? Hm.)

If you could wear my sneakers.

So, Sheree Fitch ( http://www.shereefitch.com/ ) was one of my favourite authors as a child. She wrote "Toes in my Nose and other poems" Which was my FAVOURITE book as a child, aside from the magic school bus. That book was so worn down that it had fallen apart into two chunks of pages. Me and my mom would read each chunk as a separate book.

Now, of course, I work at a library, I shelve books for a wage, these books include Sheree Fitch's books. At one point, I took it upon myself to read the "about the author" (I enjoy doing that, I learn many things about Margret and H.A Rey, Hilary Knight, Melanie Watt.... I read a lot of picture books...)

So, Reading the about the author of beloved Sheree Fitch, I realized that, up until a few years ago SHE HAD BEEN LIVING DOWN THE STREET FROM ME.
That's right, up until about 2006, Sheree Fitch had lived naught a five minute walk from my old house, or the one I moved into.
Five minutes away. From both houses (Well, both my current place of residence and my previous one, both of which i have aforementioned,  are about a five minute walk away from each other as well.)

Of course, Now she lives somewhere in the states most of the time. Terrific.

Funfact: I COULD HAVE HAD A SIGNED BOOK, BUT NO.

2000 mega....dethables of power.

It's nine-fucking-thirty and my eyes are still fuzzy from sleep and I'm wearing the best PJ pants in the world.
Also I have some really great friends.
Friday I sat around and watch a shhiiitton of horror movies with a few friends, and it was great. Strangers was really good, Cannibal holocaust was gross, but amusing and The santa one was just dumb.
BEFORE that, however, I jammed to an awesome old Hedley tune, some Brittany spears and got air conditioning installed. Fuck yes. (We installed the a/c while listing to brit spears's hit me baby one more time, at one point we caught my dad singing along to the chrous and Shy amd I laughed)

Today I'm in for a day of junk food and video games. Fuck yes.


Also, This fucking song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALHUPYogDSM

I'm so glad I'm still blogging.

There are secrets in my blogs.
My first blog was on April 12th, about me and about jousting, and looking back and rereading it, it seems like a typical blog post, but writing the words "My Boyfriend" actually was a big step for me. I was still having issues with being open about thoughts and feelings.

At anyrate, I'm glad I'm still blogging, because it will serve it's purpose as a time capsule and a document recording my life, starting on April 12th 2010 and ending eventually. I Remember realizing I needed a blog in the weeks before April 12th. I was reading a book on the internet and sharing and there was a bunch going on in my life that I didn't know what to do about. 

Life Snippit: At this moment, I am sitting on my bed, It's almost time to go to work. I'm typing away while Batman is playing Saints Row 2. Batman showed up at my house randomly around two, watched me play Saint's Row for a while, then promptly fell asleep watching Dragon Ball Z abridged. I woke him up with bacon.

Funfact: In my room I can see:

The woman your man could misspell like.

You know, when I'm at work I'll think of something to blog about. And because I work in a library, there's always some paper and a pen around. so when I have a brilliant idea of something to blog about, then I write it down. Usually once I think of one thing, I'll keep thinking of other things and I'll end up with a list of about 3- 5 things to blog about.

Of course, two day's later, when I sit down to blog, I can't remeber any of them, so I get up, walk around my room and seek out the small peice of paper.

Which, you know, has also disappeared.

Maybe everything I thought would be a good idea to blog about were actually awful idea's, and by loosing the paper, I've been done a favour.

FUNFACT: You know this guy?

The Man your man could spell like?
His name is Isaiah Mustafa.
This is his IMDB Page:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2248149/

Love and Thunderstorms.

So, like, this a blog post I meant to make like A WEEK AND A HALF AGO.

Thunderstorms, have you ever been in the middle of one? With the pouring rain and the purple flashes of light and the rolling booms?

I have. I've been in one.
Standing on the top of a hill.
On a playground.
In the middle of soon to be subdivision (I call it empty suburbia because it's all layed out and the roads are all paved and the lots seperated, but there's nothing except that and a playground. I hope everyday that the company building the houses goes bankrupt so it stays the way it is forever. It's peaceful in a strange poetic kind of way)
And I wasn't cold.
Even though I was sopping wet.
Because I was warm on the inside.
I had this feeling of freedom and peacfulness.
And love, I'm going to say love for lack of a better word.
Because in the thunder and lightning, the rest of the world didn't matter.
My hand was warm.
Because it was clasping another hand.
And as I lay down in the gravel of the new playground and watched the purple flashes of light and soaked myself to the core.
All that mattered was happiness.
And the hand clasping mine.

FUNFACT: I'm happy.

THIS IS A BLOG POST

TO REMIND ME TO BLOG ABOUT ACTUAL IMPORTANT SHITE.
I'll blog a big happy Betty-esque blog about life and rain and thunder and love when I get home I promise.
 However, this blog is still going to get a picture and a funfact, it's turned into a thing that I always do.

FUNFACT: Bubble Pop Electric is a hilarious and catchy song that Gwen Stefani had on her first solo album.

 Bad - Ass Game right here. s'true.
<-

Six Billion Secrets

"I gazed through a pane of glass
and saw an unfamiliar creature.
I threw a nearby rock at it,
shattering the mirror"


              Lol, I think things up in the shower, like this. I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am, and who I was, and sometimes it feels like I don't know who I am anymore. Sometimes it's okay though. Sometimes I need to look in the mirror and actually talk directly at myself, as if the girl in the mirror is someone else, and I'm still who I've always been.

              Sometimes though, it feels like I'm everything I've ever been, completely, albeit struggling for coherency. Everything I am clashes a little bit sometimes, but in those moments, I'm certain it will all come together fine in the end. That's kind of a central theme in my life "Everything will work out in the end" and so far, it has.

On a real life note. MATH EXAM IS OVER, FUCK YES. NO MORE FECKING QUADRATIC FORMU- oshit.
I just realized what I wrote, and it's got a silly hidden meaning/inside joke.

But seriously, I finished a 3 HOUR  math exam today. Shit was not cash, but now summer is a whopping  two days away and I, am a happy camper.

Happy camping.

RANDOM
STARTREK
GIF
GOGOGO.

Printer Software

         Okay, I'm going to start by quoting The Oatmeal here and say "Printers have been sent from hell to make us misrable". It's true, but at least printers have some point to them, you know what's completely unessisary. THE FUCKING SOFTWARE THAT COMES WITH THEM.

My mother calls me downstairs about a month ago and says to me: can you hook the printer up?
Me: Just plug that shit in, It'll work.
Mom: But what about the software, do you need to re-integrate the printer in to it or something?
Me: RAAAAAAAGGE

          Anyone who is computer savvy will tell you that for the most part, the printer software that comes with a printer is COMPLETELY OPTIONAL. That's right. If you're usuing windows XP or greater (Can't talk for macs, but I'm guessing they're pretty smart) then your computer WILL AUTOMATICALLY DETECT THE PRINTER, AND PRINTING PROGRAMS WILL PRINT TO IT.
        The printer software is just orginaiztion shite, crappy retouching shite, and MAYBE the necessary drivers.
        Funfact: The Crappy retouching software that comes with is crappy. Learn to Photoshop if you REALLY want to look better in all of your photos. Photoshop is a wondrous thing. I've got a wondrous example, but I really don't think I should post it in my blog, because it's a freaking awesome shoop* I did of someone I know. If you want to see it, I'll post it next blog or something.


Until then, enjoy this gif of My best friend's D and D Character.

I don't mind wearing my underwear on the outside.

You know, I've been thinking a lot lately, and by lately I mean; I'm always thinking, just lately my thoughts been more relevant to the world.


Like, everyone I've ever been close to has been "messed up" if you will. Now I know everyone is messed up. I'm pretty messed up myself, I know you're messed up *points violently at the screen*, but I mean messed up in the traditional sense. Most of the people I've ever super cared about have been depressed or had family problems or those types of things and the kinds of things that go along with them. (I've given out a fair share of hugs in my life, I'm pretty sure I'm really good at it by now, just so you all know. ) So my mother told me last night "You don't have to be the strong one, you don't have to be the superhero" To which I replied "I don't mind, I look really good in spandex and a cape". (Pause for super awesome "Hex as a sexy super-lady" mental images, you know you want to) But I've been thinking, and it's true, I don't mind wearing my underwear on the outside. I have a way to deal with things, I dunno, I just get over it. I'm pretty level headed and I'm stable. I have a consistent home life, a present and caring family. I care a lot about people and being there for everyone makes me feel good. It never seems like too much to handle or think about.

Also, when I have issues, I have people, as long as those people stick around, then I'll be fine, and sometimes, when I can't deal with other people's issues, then I'll tell them, and hope they understand. As long as I have understanding people, I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'm having as much fun as humanly possible and trying to spread it around. I try to smile and laugh whenever I can and honestly, I'm having the time of my life.



It's a little tiring though, having the time of your life. A nap would be nice.

Fun fact: I own the comic of which the following art is cover art for.

JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS

Revoked (Her blog) : I admire "Revoked" ’s ability to be naturally funny, and say what’s on her mind, even if it sometimes doesn’t make sense.




Betty (Her Blog) : "Betty" can express herself and her feelings. She’s open about love and hate and how she’s feeling and doesn’t get embarrassed saying her feelings out loud.



Ryan HAS NO BLOG: Ryan is incredibly opinionated and is great to have a discussion with. He can truly believe in what it is he’s talking about, but still listen to your opinion and give his feedback and reflect.



Jenna HAS NO BLOG : Jenna is a really caring person, she’s cares about other people’s feelings and gives everyone a chance. She’s loyal to her friends and fun to be around.

My eye is twitching.

Warning, BAWW ahead, sorta. It's a Hex type of BAWWW though. It's a little more self reflective, and it's punctuated with periods of insight. At the end of it all though, I look back and feel like an emo kid.

It's been twitching since my free period.
Harold keeps asking me if I'm okay.
I'm starting to wonder, I'm not... really, you know, today.
I thought I was okay.
Maybe I'm wrong.
I"ve been thinking about a lot of different things lately.
Like for one thing: Philosophy. We're talking philosophical in english class. That's, you know, pretty deep shit. Making me think, about life, and reality. That stuff doesn't really bother me though, whether or not we're real. It never has. It's just interesting, not stress-making.
My eye just twitched again.
Also: sex. How can one thing be so taboo but so mainstream at the same time? Sex sells, be sexy, the porn industry. But some places in the states they're still teaching abstenince only education. It's considered inapropriate to walk around public discussing your sex life.

My life's been going non-stop for months now, and summer's just around the corner. Burnout, maybe.
I think my life just reached a point, a line if you will, where I need to just stop, step back and observe the situation so I can have a good summer. I find myself back to feelings of doubt and powerlessness. Frusrration.

I'm not okay.

Oooh, Shiny.

Look at that, all, "Web TwoPointOh" and shit. Because I'm super cool and up on the times with the shiny buttons and the XML code and those feeed things.

Just in case anyone is wondering, this is what happens when you finish your Multimedia final project two weeks before school ends. You start making up your own projects, like PIMP MAH BLOG. *headdeskheaddesk*

It's wednesday, and I'm working, which sucks, but It means I get my weekends off, YAY.
Summer's closer, but not by much.

I had a super cool long weekend, however. My parents were out of town all weekend so I invited Harold, CBAT and Spud (Who I'm pretty sure I've named before as a member of "The Group") And we partied stayed up 'till three in the morning having sex playing video games.

Yes. I am that cool, I have my entire house to myself and I play video games, and eat periogies. Like really. All those other teenagers think they're cool with their boozin' and their loud music and their bedrooms upstairs "reeseved", but none of them are having half the fun that I'm having. Great people, Castle Crashers and Perogies is all I need.

On that note, the fun stuff I'm posting today is

1. The forest entrance music from Castle Crashers, great music to eat perogies to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tUBK0zUpSs

And

2. This little animated gif of Suicune

FIC CAM

She wondered if she could be more open and honest if she wrote in the third person, like she was writing a story of sorts. She wondered.
She was plopped down on her bed, her laptop on her lap at 11:03 pm. It was a Thursday. A part of her brain willed her to go back to sleep, now that she had finished washing herself and her clothes. She didn't want to sleep just yet, however, she wanted to write a bit first. Just a teensy bit about her life and how it unfolded. She considered gussying it up a bit to make it seem more exciting then it really was, but she decided against it in the end.

Her day had passed pretty much uneventful, an average day at school, albeit a particularly slow one. Her few highlights of her academic hours past had been her free period, where she played (More like faillled D :) Starcraft with her friends, and lunch, when she played D&D with the same friends and more.

She hadn't bothered with her hair today, and even slacked on the clothing department, opting for a messy ponytail hidden under a hat, and an aging tank top hidden under a sweater. This was due in part to the fact that she had been up late the night before with her best friend, and in part to the fact that she assumed she wasn't going to see him today. She didn't like to admit it, but in the soft glow of her nightstand light, she felt like she could type it up.

She had seen him today however, first, as she entered her place of work. He was leaving with a few friends of theirs. Out searching for ways to make money and places to spend that money on. She expected that to be all she saw of him today, and hummed "A Kiss To Build A Dream On" to herself as she worked. She remarked that the only reason she knew the song was because it played in the opening and ending sequences of Fallout 2. In 1998 she had spent many a day watching her parents search out the fabled vault 13.

She saw him again when he showed up at her place of work, determined to sit out the hours until she was off.
"I don't get off for another two hours!" she said, sitting on a book stool, a book with a call number of 649.xxx was halfway to it's cataloged location, frozen in her hand.
"So?" He said. She laughed and offered to sign him into a computer.

When work was over, they both piled into her mother's car and back to her place, where they promptly lay down and fell asleep. They slept just long enough for him to miss his bus home.

Sitting with her laptop 20 minutes later, she reread her story, and didn't speak. She didn't like how the last lines would seem like an outright lie to anyone who didn't know her. Despite the fact that they were impeccably true and also completely plausible. She figured that people reading would think that she had inserted "sleeping" as substitute for something much more explicit. She smirked and shook her head. Sleeping is awesome. 


She thought also that she should mention her best friend, who she had shared kraft dinner and perogies with today. Her best friend who recently said something out loud that She herself was never strong enough to admit when she was in a similar situation. She smiled and mimed holding up a glass in toasting motion. "A toast!" she thought "To Harold Q Poppinjay, My best friend and a strong person."


She realized that neither person mentioned in this blog would read it, and she was okay with that. She was ready to sleep.

Summer, hurry up.

Kid at The library: "Blogger Seems weird"
Hex: "You just write about your life, It's like a journal, but public. Maybe if you're interesting enough, people will read it."
My blog is like a memoir as it happens. things show up and I blog about them I don;t blog very regulary anymore, and I've never blogged about a specific topic before, 'cept for that one time I blogged about privacy, lol.

So, May is half over. Exams will be in a month, and frankly, I can't wait. Summer can't get here fast enough. I want it. These last few weeks will be hell.
My only issue is that the comming of summer means that my grade eleven year is over, and I'm offcially a senior in high school. That means I'm precariously close to the begining of the rest of my life. As anyone who's relativley normal would know, that's pretty scary. Especially when you don't have a plan. I usually have a plan for everything. This. I don't have. (Though, it wouldn't be the first thing)

I'm trying not to think about it or stress out. They say that youth is wasted on the young, and I'm trying my damn hardest not to waste a single moment. These are the days they say we'll never forget, and goddamnit, I don't want to forget them. Stressing out is just a reason to want to forget.

So bring on the summer, bring on the sun.
Bring on the lake and the tents and long days.
Fill them with ice cream, or frozen yogurt or sorbet.
Let stress and the rest of the world come undone.

I LIEK'D YUR BLOG.

She said it in the same "DO YOU HAVE FACEBUUK?" type of voice.
And at first I was embarrassed, because, MY FEELINGS AND STUFF. But I knew she would read it, because I got her addicted to blogging, methinks.
And I'm glad, Betty's a good person to have reading your blog.

Tomorrow's friday and I'm really happy because it's the end of the week and I get to see CBAT after he's been out of school and I get to hang out with CBAT and Harold after school and watch Pushing Daisies (Which I found out is a great show... just a little too late, like, six months after they cancelled it D : ) And my other best friend (who I just realized does not have a codename yet, but I'll call her screwy because she has a blog too, and that relates) So Screwy might show up after her orientation at work and we'll make 5 minute chocolate cake and see if we all fit in my bed and be happy.

I'd like to take this opportunity to say that I have so much fun sober. I don't know why teenagers my age need alcohol, when you can have this much fun sober. Drugs are bad mmmkay. *srs face*

I'm happy, I just read Betty's blog on sex, and I agree on every point, so I'm going to link to it;
http://chaos-is-beautiful.blogspot.com/2010/05/sex-not-kidding-not-at-all.html TAH DURR, A LINK.


And now, for your enjoyment, a picture of me.
Sorta:


Now, If you'll excuse me, I'm off to save a word document of all my past facebook statuses, starting in 2008.
Then, I'm going to bed, G'night.

Not quite ready for sleep yet

I JUST WROTE A WHOLE FUCKING BLOG ABOUT HOW MUCH I CARE AND THEN I ACCIDENTALLY THE WHOLE THING.


I think the universe is telling me to sum it all up so I can sleep.
So I'm going to do it.
I'm just going to
Write it in plain language. 


I cried because I cared, I couldn't help it, I just wanted to be able to take all the pain away and leave the good times.
I couldn't stop crying because I care so much. so much. I care. I love. I love. I love.
And It scares me so much, because I don't have anything to compare it to. I don't know how real this is, but it feels really real.


None of it means any sense without context. I had some more context in, but I accidentally backspaced it... then the draft saved immediately afterwards.


I love.


It's midnight, I need to sleep. 

Hah hah!

So, I think the blogging craze has died down enough for me to start posting my deep dark secrets, hm?
Also, "Betty" just posted some pretty srs biz on her blog, and it got me in the mood.
Also, yesterday, I was at a song writing workshop, and I wrote some stuff down and came to a realization.
Secrets = Regrets.
I've kept things secret, and I have problems saying things sometimes, and I realize that I don't regret them, so why keep them a secret. It's dumb.
Also, saying things out loud doesn't make them real, thinking them makes them the most real that they can be.

That being said, I had a MARVELOUS FUCKING DAY YESTERDAY.
After freeing myself of some emotional bonds, A friend who lives far away came to visit. (Hereby referred to as Red) So Me and Harold And Red And CBAT all went downtown to traipse around a bit.
The following is a list of amazing things that happened.

• Harold wrote a song about beard envy with some help.
• CBAT and Red Licked slugs. (Well, the same slug)
• We walked into a mall, where all the shops were closed, CBAT jumped up and ran around on the fountain, The security guard lady came over the P.A and said "GET OFF THE FOUNTAIN"
• Ran into someone after mentioning them and other coincidences. (aka, Universe approves)
• Strawberry Rhubarb Tarts

And some other stuff.

Anyways, deepdarksecret tim- wait, just a sec. deep dark secrets postponed until after I announce my excitableness about

HALO, FUCKING REACH. It looks so good, gaah, I'm pumped.

Ehehm, At anyrate, yesterday, after a fabulous day, I have never felt more in love. (which isn't hard, really, but you know what I mean.)

NOW, GO READ BETTY'S BLOG BECAUSE SHE'S MUCH MORE INTERESTING AND MORE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT HER FEELINGS THEN ME.

http://chaos-is-beautiful.blogspot.com/

As Expected

My blogging has slowed down,  I can only assume due to waining interest. I'm okay though, I didn't really want to blog EVERYDAY, you know. Also, I haven't had acess to a computer in multimedia class for the last few days, and I do a lot of blogging there.

You know, now that I think of it, I havn't really been on the computer much at all. It's strange, I've been playing more xbox and doing other productive things. (You know, because x-box is so productive, along with all those other things I do)

We're finally going to start playing D&D today, after a prolonged break. (It was only supposed to be a week, but it turned into two due to lack of people and characters, also, smash brothers.)  I have yet to write a backstory for my unamed Human Paladin. I've got plans to do so on my free.

I'm feeling pretty good this morning, despite my sleep being subpar and it being monday morning and all. It's rather strange. Math class will probably change that. Math never ceases to lul me into a melancholy tiredness. I think it's all the correcting we do. If the teacher would just give us some damn sheets. GAH.

No, It' AP, I understand why we need to go over everything a million times. It's tough stuff...But isn't it supposed to be the class for people who can handle tough stuff? I'm not trying to bash. I'm actually quite normal, I bet the amount of people who enjoy math class to the people who don't is seriously disproportinate. (Don't get me wrong, I liek Math. Just the class thaat sucks.)

I want an iPad.

I don't want to want an iPad. DAMN YOU STEVE JOBS AND YOUR INCESSANT iHYPE.

Today at lunch, I brought in a GameCube and thee controllers. Batman brought in another controller and SUPER SMASH BROTHERS MEELEE!

It was a fantastic 45 minutes filled with the sounds of frantically clacking buttons, cry's of pain and anger and the eventual cheer of the victor.
  The greatest part today was when one of the players chose Donkey Kong. We weren't sure why until half way through the match he picked up Batman and walked off the edge of the map with a cry of "FOR ALLAAAH" (I've mentioned we're all very offensive) The rest of the match was spent with Batman avoiding him with periodic explosions of "FUCK YOU GUY" I laughed ridiculously hard.

Also, I work at a library, one of my duties at said library is to put out the new magazines when they come into the library. Because of this, I've realized something strange. There are more fragrance samples in mens magazines then there are in womens. Strange.

I'm cool with this.

I say things, you know, over and over again, like catch phrases. Every once and a while I'll continually use one until it gets worn out, and then I'll find a new one. One that jumps to my mind that's already been here and gone was "Not like there's anything better to do". You say it with a certain inflection at certain points, and it turns into a thing, you know what I mean?

One that I've been usuing a lot lately is: "WORKIN' ON IT" (Yes, in the real world, I talk in Capslock, s'true) . This surfaced around the same time as "Not like there's anything better to do". I don't remeber exactly how, but my first recollection of usuing it was when I was playing Rock Band. The exchange probably went along the lines of:
Friend: Don't Fail
Hex: WORKIN' ON IT.

It's been kicking around a while, it died down for a while before resurfacing when I had things I reeeaaallly needed to work on. Ehehe.

Another one that's shown up in the middle of my things that I've reeeaaaally needed to work on has been "I'm cool with this" (Again, certain inflections make the whole thing work) 
The funny thing here is that I know exactly where it came from. You know the Christmas Episode of the Fairly Odd Parents, where it's Christmas everyday so everything stays closed?
It's the scene where Chet Ubetcha is doing his special news report on everything being closed.

Chet Ubetcha: Stores are still closed (cut to store, angry people in front)
People: WE WANT FOOD!
Timmy's dad: Like Eggnog!
Chet Ubetcha: Banks are still closed (cut to bank, angry people in front)
People: WE WANT MONEY!
Timmy's dad: To buy Eggnog!
Chet Ubetcha: And Schools are still closed (cut to school)
Chester (Skateboards across the screen) : I'm cool with this.

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWIeS_0YB3g&feature=related
About 1:32 seconds in)

This is a reminder from your past self.

Don't forget to blog about privacy, remeber yesterday when you said "remind me to blog about privacy" Now seems like a good a time as any. Especially after you had to remind your sister one million and a half times to knock on your door before entering. You know, to "respect your privacy" and all that.


    Uhhhhg. Don't remind me. However past self, this is a good idea, privacy is such a big issue these days, also I've been reading about it in this awesome book called "The Peep Diaries" (Which is pretty much what inspired me to write a blog, just sayin') privacy on the internet is basically at extremes, either all your information is available (sometimes super easy to find, sometimes it takes a little bit of research, I'm sure someone could track this back to me pretty simply)  Or you're completely anonymous. Basically privacy on the internet is a joke. If someone wants to find you and kill you, they would and could. That being said, there must not be many people who want to find and kill you, because I don't see many reports on the news about people being killed after being tracked on the internet. 

   The issue with facebook isn't privacy persay, but "Oversharing". When people post bits of information from their daily life that is just a little to personal. Liek: GOT CRUNK, SLEPT AROUND YEAH. 
That is oversharing. Especially when you have your mom or your boss on facebook.

    On a totally unrelated note, anyone remember "The Philosopher Kings"? They had two big hits in 2006 (lol, I was in grade seven, oh, good lame ass times) 'Castles in the Sand' and 'Give Back the Love' . I didn't remember them until I heard them again. Bonus points to those who can figure out (or remember, as the case may be) why I wiki'd these guys in the first place.

Actually, nah, no bonus points, because there are only two of you who would be able to figure it out at all.

Actually, I should probably say it, because this is a documenting blog, and not a... some other type of blog.  And If I don't say it, it probably wont make any sense when I look back on it in 3-5 years. (Which is the point of this blog you know)
Eh, I'll point out the connections next blog.

Llama Ryhmes With Drama

FINALLY, Blogger was being a jerk and not loading the composition box properly, I was starting to get frustrated.
Also, because It seems firefox has given up on the wonders of spell check, I'm blogging from google chrome.
I love google chrome for it's fast work-ocity, but not for it's for "collecting all your informationlol". Oh well, privacy in these times is merely an illusion (remind me to blog about privacy)
But I promised you a tale of high drama for today, so high drama there will be... Sort of.
See, I kind of feel guilty for running of my mouth on my blog about one specific person, even if no names will be said, just because I know If I start writing, I'll just keep writing and shit will get out of hand.

       But what the heck ever, I need to get some shit off my chest. If you actually know me IRL, you've probably heard this rant.

         Don't you hate it when you do nearly nothing of consequence wrong, and someone flips the fuck out and decides to block you out of their lives. Like, so there's this one person, right. And I said some stuff about their boyfriend right, but the thing is, I said it to her face, and also, directly to her boyfriend (not to his face, because, you know, I don't like him all that much) so she knew I said it, and didn't even tell me to lay off. Not at all. Then, all of a sudden, something changes (like I made a decision that she didn't agree with or something, I'm not entirely sure) and then BAM I've been blocked by her on facebook (after she left a rather rude comment that I couldn't reply to even if I wanted to) and she's talking about how much of a bitch I am, talking about things that happened months ago that she didn't have any problem with months ago, but for some reason, matter now.
          Anyways, the stupidity blows my mind, and I really don't want to deal with it anymore, but my problem is that if she showed up and apologized and then acted like it had never happened, I would probably accept her as a friend again, because I'm a big fucking softy and I have no backbone. Also, because I still care about her, I don't know about you, but I can't stop caring overnight. Gosh.

ANYWAYS, THAT WAS LIFE DRAMA, NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG, MOVE ALONG.

I WAS PROMISED NAKED FIGHTING.

I know I promised I'd blog about teh dramaz today. But I'm not going to.
'Cause It's like midnight, and I don't feel like blogging with friends over.
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, LETS PARTY BABY GET CRUNK.
No, I don't drink at all, that previous statement was completely sarcastic, especially because I'm at home, no lights, no party, no alcholol.
DAH, CBAT FORGOT HIS WALLET HERE, AGAIN. SUCKER.
So yeah, Drama desctription in the morrow.

All in Favour of This Being A Democracy?

We (as in the group of people I continuely refer to as the guys from D&D. This includes 'Nam' 'Batman', My boyfriend AKA 'CBAT' 'Harold' and the other yet to be named guys) are an offencive group of teenagers, but that's to be expected, it seems jokes today are all about things that you never used to be able to joke about.

For example, sexism just seems to be getting funnier and more acceptible (acceptible as in more acceptable to make jokes about it, not more acceptable to practice) by the day. Especially on the internet, where the cries of  "GET BACK TO THE KITCHEN" can be heard in kitchens around the world.
I can't say I really mind it as long as both parties know it's all in good fun. A truly tolerent society is on where one group of people makes fun of another group of people and both people laugh. (Because you know we're never going to be able to stop people from making fun of each other).

Anyways, today, our group basically decided it was a nation (est pop. 10) and like any good nation, it needed a system of govenement. At first, we all voted for Democracy, then rallied together to change to Communism. Nam wanted Facism but we were having none of that.
Then the people started voting to eliminate rights.
Fist, we voted to strip CBAT of all of his rights, then they tried to vote to exile him out of the group but to no avail. (CBAT's not even here today, he's home for one reason or another, which made stripping him of his rights even easier for everyone else.)
Then, they voted to remove womens rights, leaving me and Harold S.O.L
Then, they voted to remove rights from anyone over 6'3", which covered Nam and also another guy who has yet to recieve a code name. (I haven't had to mention him yet, because he just showed up agian today after a long absence.)
Then they voted to re-instate the rights of half the women who are permanant citizens of the "Nation Of The Group". This half included Harold, but left me without a voice.

I'm sure this sillyness would have continued until a revolution, but the bell rang, and we all went back to class.
(Next time I'm going to blog about dramaz, I swear, don't let me forget)

Live Action Rock Paper Scissors.

And now, Reporting from her multimedia class again, after a long and perilous journey of finding another proxy to get around the filter with, is Hex.

See, I wasgoing to write another, longer blog when I got home from work yesterday, but then I realized that would have been three blogs in one day... And that would kindof make me feel like a douchebag. So I'm going blog today about yesterday's  lunch, and also today's lunch, but just the interesting parts.

Yesterday's interesting parts: Batman and Nam played "Live Action Rock Paper Scissors." Which just constituted the two of them making etither a rock, paper or scissors with their hands and beating eachother up. That's about all.

Today's interesting parts:  Everyone showed off their "Rape Face" It was a close tie between Nam and Batman, Until CBAT came along and scared the shit out of everyone. Scared the shit out of everyone in a hilarious way mind you, but still. Batman took pictures that are sure to appear on facebook.

I hate not writing down a good idea when I think of it, I'm really bad like that. Like, I'm sure I had a really great idea about something to write about in math class, but lo, I was too lazy to write it down. Math class makes me really sleepy.

Multimedia class again, our lord and master: "Proxzor" God of all Proxys, is either temporarily 404'd or dead, so me and the kindly friendcomb of Multimedia went on the hunt for a new proxy. We eventually found, from germany, and now we're distracting the whole class by sending hate IM's to a collective aquantance. The substitue teacher was fine with it until it got really out of control and the whole friendcomb of people got riled up. (Just so the internet knows, I'm writing this shit as it happens.)

Teachers don't seem to mind if I blog in class, as long as I'm not disruptive.

I realized that I was orignally going to keep my blog anonymous, and not tell my friends so I could blog about my deep dark secrets and my illustrious sex life (lolno) but then I went and told a few of my friends, and then all of my friends, and now everyone that I know knows that this blog is my blog.
My plan is to wait, try my best to stop talking about my blog, and eventually people I know will forget I even have one. Then, fair readers (lolnone) then you will hear of my deepdarksecrets and that other stuff that has yet to exsist.

I'm the Chairman of the board.

I think I really just created this blog out of boredom, you know. The rest of the internet has gotten boring and at least here I feel like I'm maybe accomplishing something. Maybe.
Well, not really, but documenting my life is much more important then not documenting it on facebook (You could almost consider it documenting, but not really in a very readable, look backable way, 'cept for maybe looking back on old pictures) and documenting my life is definitely more important then gaia or youtube or 4chan.

I've though about playing WoW. (Did you know that one in five WoW players is female, It's funny because that's exactly the same ratio of males to females that exists within my circle of friends.) I'm worried it would consume my life though. It's happened before, I find something I like, GET ADDICTED TO IT, then slowly peeeter off, eventually not giving a shit about it at all (I've got a sinking feeling that the same thing will happen to this blog, but bear with me). If I was going to play an MMO that I had to pay for, I'd probably play Star Trek Online first, because Star Trek is wicked.

In case anyone cares, I'm at work, but haven't started working yet, I don't start until 5, and it's only 4:40.

Proxy that shit.

 I really shouldn't be blogging right now, I'm in class and should really instead finish my report on the Fibonacci sequence for multimedia.
I should, but I'm a bad person who circumvents the school content filter. The funniest thing is that as I wrote that last sentence, a woman showed up with a camera and took a picture of me "Working diligently at my computer" probably to show the school board how great technology education is.

Technology education is great, I love it. I spent the first few months of this class using photoshop, and I love photoshop. However, if you sit a student down at a computer, they'll eventually figure out how to make it to facebook, or blogger in this case. (Psssst, If anyone want to know how to beat the filter, easily, I'll let you know).

At any rate, my excuse is that taking breaks actually helps you be more productive. There's been studies and stuff, plus I'm almost done... I swear.
The bell's going to ring any minute now.

An Introduction of sorts.

Okay, let's make one thing clear, I'm not writing this for you guys. I'm writing it for me. ME. So that in five or some odd years time I can look back and see how goddamn stupid I was. (Because you know you all do that, look back on your past with distain, and remark on how much cooler you are now.)

Now, because I'm writing for me, I really shouldn't have to introduce myself, because I know who I am and none of you care.
But It seems weird to start without introducing myself, so without futher ado:

You, person sitting at your computer, wondering why you've read thus far; you can call me Hex, short for Hexadecimal (INB4 REBOOT, I know, she was a badass, I know, not where I got the name). I'm 17 years old and I go to my local public high school. I enjoy the freedom and benifits of living in Canada. I'm Female.

My bestfriend will frequently be mentioned in this blog, So I'll call her "Harold". Together we are the astonishingly hilarious and beautiful duo known as "Harold and Hex"

I could write more about myself, but I kind of want to get to the "blogging" part of blogging.

Today, I went to school and didn't play D&D at lunch, which is quite out of the ordinary, I must say. Instead, Our entire lunchtime group of people moved from the D&D room to our original spot near the window, in the long hallway in the tech wing of my local public high school. The 45 minutes of lunch break consisted of "Jousting". (I think I should mention here that all my lunch friends, besides Harold, are male)

Jousting is a familliar term, and when I tell you that we were jousting without horses, I bet you can figure out what I mean.
This particular Jousting session consisted of my two male friends (We'll call them 'Batman' and 'Nam') my boyfriend (We'll call him... My boyfriend, until I can think of a more clever nickname that hasn't been overused already) and one of my boyfriends-friends-who's-already-graduated-but-shows-up-sometimes, pairing up and mounting each other like horses, sticking their fists out like lances, and running like idiots down the hallway at eachother.

So we had Batman mounted on Nam (They are both large guys, so this was funny) The aformentioned graduated bloke mounted on my boyfriend. They gained speed down the hallway before colapsing onto the floor in a spectacular fall.

I laughed to kill myself. This shit happens on a daily basis.